HP and the Goblet of Fire (Messed Up Version)
by Saranha de Angelo
Summary: I once again made it PG so I'd have room to work. I have basically summarized and altered the scenes from book four. Warning: Very weird. I hope it is funny, I thought some parts were. R&R to tell me what you think! I probably will continue it!
1. Default Chapter

Strange and Messed up Harry Potter scenes:  
  
Author's Note: Hey! Okay, the deal is, I was reading HP and the Goblet of Fire again and started doing strange things to the scenes. I then did the same with the other books, but those aren't done yet. So I guess these are kind of bloopers for Book 4. I also won't make things very detailed.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as someone else's (most of it will be JK Rowling's but I have accidentally thrown some other things in).  
  
So, this is for chapter 1, 2, and 3 of the fourth book...enjoy...or not...  
  
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire  
  
Chapter Uno  
  
* At the Riddle House.*  
  
Voldie: Wormtail, where's Nagini? I want to play poker!  
  
Wormtail: My lord, she's around my neck...choking me....I can't *turns blue * breathe!  
  
Voldie: This house brings back old memories.........so many of them.........  
  
Wormtail: My lord, * manages to get Nagini off of his neck *did you technically ever live here? I mean, this is your father's house, and he abandoned you...  
  
Voldie: * sniffles * Please, don't remind me of Papa!  
  
Wormtail: How long are we going to stay here?  
  
Voldie: A week or so. We can't do anything before the Quidditch World Cup is over.  
  
Wormtail: * in annoying three year old whiny voice *Why not?  
  
Voldie: Because I have tickets!  
  
Wormtail: Will they let you in?  
  
Voldie: * voice going strangely female and mother like * Yes, honey. Don't worry. Mama's gonna make it all better.  
  
Wormtail: We can get there without Harry Potter's car, my lord.  
  
Voldie: Without Harry Potter's car?!? Oh, I get it.........  
  
Wormtail: I don't like him! I mean, so what if he is the son of one of my best friends? I'm loyal to you now!  
  
Voldie: Really? Oh, I guess. But I have a more faithful follower at Hogwarts, so there! He's my right hand man!  
  
Wormtail: I'm special too! I got Bertha Jorkins!  
  
Voldie: Ah yes! I was quite pleased when you got me a person to play poker with while you were milking Nagini. And it was quite helpful when she told us about the Try Wizard Tournament while she was drunk.........  
  
Wormtail: Why did we kill her then?  
  
Voldie: Because all of the sudden she remembered some nonsense about you being dead! Where did she get that idea?  
  
*Both think in silence for a minute or two *  
  
Wormtail: Oh yeah! I had to pretend I was dead when I framed Sirius Purple!  
  
Voldie: Oh yeah! That's right! Right after I killed James for marrying my little sister! He should have remembered how protective I was.........oh wait! Molly Weasley's my little sister, not Lily Potter. I always get those two mixed up!  
  
Wormtail: Then why don't you seek revenge on her husband, Arthur Weasley?  
  
Voldie: WHAT?!?! LITTLE MOLLY IS MARRIED! Oh, I don't have time. * talks to Nagini * Nagini has interesting news. You have seven galleons in your pocket! You've been holding out on me! * talks to snake again *Oh. She also says that there's a Muggle outside listening to us. Show him in.  
  
Wormtail: * goes to door *Howdy neighbor! Come on in!  
  
Frank Rice: Hi! How ya doin'?  
  
Voldie: Wonderful! However, I cannot have you blabbing my secrets to anyone.  
  
Frank Rice: What secrets? I couldn't hear anything you said. I was listening to polka music!  
  
Voldie: Uh...oh well! Abra Cadabra!  
  
Frank Rice: * dies *  
  
Harry Potter: * wakes up *  
  
Chapter two  
  
* This is the chapter where Harry worries about his scar *  
  
Harry Potter: * worries about scar *  
  
Harry Potter: * worries about scar hurting *  
  
Harry Potter: * worries about Voldie trying to kill him *  
  
Harry Potter: *decides to actually do something about it *  
  
Harry: *thinking* Well, Herm-own-ninny would hit me on the head with one of her heavy books so that my head would hurt so much I wouldn't notice the scar. Ronald would scream and run in circles and ask me to repeat the question.  
  
Harry: I know! I write to my godfather, the murdering convict, Sirius Purple!  
  
Dursleys: Shh!  
  
Harry: Sorry! * writes letter to Sirius, read it below *  
  
Dear Sirus,  
  
Hey! I hope you're having fun in Brazil! Even though I'm not supposed to mention where you are in the letter, but my Brazilian pen pal told me he saw you. I wonder if you have been formally introduced...  
  
Anyway, MY SCAR HURT! AND I HAD A NIGHTMARE! Help me, daddy! Oh wait, my dad is dead. (A/N: Harry is quite a letter writer, isn't he?) So, anyway, I'm like kind of worried, so if you could just send me lots of piranhas from Brazil, it will help me get over it. Ta-ta!  
  
Please send money,  
  
Harry Potter  
  
PS: And food! Food would be good!  
  
(A/N: Did you ever realize just how little actually happens in that chapter?)  
  
Chapter 3  
  
* Harry walks into kitchen and sits down to breakfast. The Dursleys wave and smile at him *  
  
Dudley: Hi Harry!  
  
Harry: Hello favorite cousin of mine!  
  
Uncle Vernon: Harry! I need to talk to you, favorite nephew of mine!  
  
Harry: Alright favorite uncle of mine!  
  
*They go into living room*  
  
Uncle Vernon: Now, favorite nephew of mine, I received a letter today from a lady who says you go to WIZARDING school to learn MAGIC with her son who is also a WIZARD, JUST LIKE YOU.  
  
Harry: Yes. My best friend Ronald told me that his family was going invite me to go to the QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP if Ronald's father, who works at the MINISTRY OF MAGIC could get tickets.  
  
Uncle Vernon: What is QUIDDITCH?  
  
Harry: It is a sport that us WIZARDS play on FLYING BROOMSTICKS.  
  
Uncle Vernon: Right! You WIZARDS. Anyway, she said that they wanted you to come with them to the Quidditch World Cup.  
  
Harry: Can I go?  
  
Uncle Vernon: No. We will miss you too much!  
  
Harry: *stands up angrily* Let me go or I'll.or I'll.SEND MY MURDERING GODFATHER AFTER YOU!  
  
Uncle Vernon: *trembling with fear* Yes, great one! I will let you go! Go, but be back soon! *starts to sing* You can go, but be back soon. You can go but while you're working, this place, I'm pacing round, until you're home, safe and sound.  
  
Harry: Okay.bye.*backs away, afraid*  
  
*Harry goes back to his room*  
  
*A tennis ball with wings hit Harry in the head*  
  
Harry: Hey! *throws the tennis ball out the window* And stay out!  
  
*The tennis ball comes back*  
  
Harry: Oh, wait! This is Ronald's owl! I remember now! He must have a letter from Ronald!  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
DAD GOT THE TICKETS! It's Ireland versus Bulgaria, Monday night. I think Mum sent the Dursleys a letter asking for permission. But, I decided to send LATB with my letter. By the way, the owl's name is LATB.  
  
Now Harry, here's the deal. If your aunt and uncle say you can't go, you can't go. It's a rule. I hope they say you can, though. If not, I'm taking Neville! Then he'd be my new best friend. Or would that be Herm- own-ninny...I don't know which of them I like more. But you are privileged enough to currently be my best friend. Don't mess up.  
  
Herm-own-ninny is already here. She is trying to choke me because I couldn't decide if I liked her or Neville better. Oh, well! She let go. Percy started work in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. We are all really interested, but Percy won't talk about it. He muttered something about cauldron bottoms and hating work. He especially hates his boss, Mr. Couch. But doesn't it sound oh so interesting? (A/N: He is NOT being sarcastic. Scary, Huh?)  
  
Your best friend,  
  
Ronald  
  
PS: You are rich, idiot! Why are you asking for food and money? I need the money!  
  
Harry: I'm going to write him a response!  
  
Dear Ronald,  
  
It's okay, Uncle Vernon said I could come. Though, I did have to threaten him with my murdering godfather, Sirius Purple, WHO IS CURRENTLY HIDING IN BRAZIL!  
  
Your best friend,  
  
Harry Potter  
  
PS: So what if I'm rich! I want more money! So, booyah!  
  
Harry: That looks good and friendly and not-giving-away-Sirius's-location- ish!  
  
Harry: Which reminds me! I have to send Sirius my letter. *Ties letter to Ronald on LATB's leg and throws him out the window* I have to finish it first.  
  
*He finished by writing*  
  
Oh, and another thing, I'm going to be at my best friend Ronald Weasel's house for the rest of the summer. We're going to the Quidditch World Cup! And you're not! Ha ha!  
  
*He sends his owl Hedwig off with the letter*  
  
Harry: Hmm...should I be worried about Voldie or any other danger that is constantly threatening my life? Nah!  
  
Fine (for now...)  
  
Author's Note: Like? No? I'm hurt! Oh well. Please R&R! Once again, just cause you don't like it doesn't mean I won't continue it, I just won't post it unless somebody likes it. That is why I need you to read and review.  
  
PLEASE READ THIS: Okay, one of my stories didn't really post right and the only real way to get to it is through my profile. So if you could take a moment, click on my name, and click on something that I think is called, "th Year Interrogation" and review it, I would thank you and bow down to worship you. Literally. 


	2. Chapters 4,5, and 6 of Book 4

Hey! I got nice reviews! *smiles* So I'm back with a second chapter (or, chapters 4, 5, and 6, depending on how you look at it) If anyone has anything they want me to put in, they can go ahead and suggest it. I'm glad people liked the first part. Please note, I did get down on my knees and bow, worshiping all of the nice people who reviewed.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as belonging to someone else's.  
  
Hope this chapter's okay.....  
  
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire  
  
Chap. 4  
  
Harry: *packs*  
  
*Goes downstairs to wait for Weasels*  
  
Uncle Vernon: Hello, favorite nephew of mine! Are the Weasels going to be driving to get here? Or taking a plane? Or what?  
  
Harry: Um.....I'm not sure.....I don't know.  
  
Uncle Vernon: Ah, well. It's not like there is anyone on the street who we haven't told about you being a WIZARD.  
  
Harry: We told them, favorite uncle of mine?  
  
Uncle Vernon: I don't really remember anything past last Tuesday....  
  
*A hot pink Ferrari drives up the street*  
  
Harry: I bet that's them!  
  
Uncle Vernon: What a nice car! Great color!  
  
*The car goes away*  
  
Harry: Hey! That was MY hot pink Ferrari! *sigh* I guess it wasn't them.  
  
Voice from somewhere: HO HO HO!  
  
Dudley and Harry: IT'S SANTA CLAUS!  
  
Mr. Weasel: No, it's just me. I've always wanted to say that!  
  
Fred: Dad, can we get out of the chimney yet?  
  
George: *singing* Up on the house top, click, click, click! Down through the chimney with good Saint Nick!  
  
Ronald: Hey! We actually lived!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Of course we did! You have such little faith in me! And I'm Kris Cringle!  
  
Harry: No you're not. You're Arthur Weasel.  
  
Mr. Weasel: I am? *cries* *stops crying* Oh, sorry. Another identity crisis.  
  
Aunt Petunia: Actually, we have an electric fire, so that might stop you from getting in.  
  
All: Oh!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Okay. Stand back! *fireplace blows up*  
  
Aunt Petunia: How lovely that black shade goes with my pretty pink rug!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Sorry about that.  
  
Dudley: Hey look! A candy! *eats it*  
  
*Nothing happens*  
  
*Fred and George watch Dudley expectantly, but nothing happens*  
  
Fred: Oh! *whispers to George*  
  
George: What do you mean you gave him regular salt-water taffy?!?  
  
Uncle Vernon: *had been gone, but now comes back with Harry's things*  
  
Dursleys: Goodbye, Harry! We will miss you so much! *start to sing* You can go, but be back soon, you can go but while you're working, this place I'm pacing round, until you're home, safe and sound...  
  
Ronald: But he's not going to be back until next summer....how can he come back soon?  
  
Harry: *scared* Let's just get out of here! NOW!  
  
Chapter Five  
  
*Harry sees Bill and Charlie at the table*  
  
Harry: Hi!  
  
Charlie: Hi! I'm Charlie. I like dragons! See, *pulls up sleeve to show wrist* this is where I've most recently be cut.  
  
Harry: Is it supposed to ooze and turn green like that?  
  
Charlie: Uh oh! *Leaves*  
  
Bill: Okay.....hi Harry! I'm Bill!  
  
Harry: I thought you would be like Percy!  
  
Bill: I don't like you anymore. *pouts*  
  
Harry: But now I know I was wrong!  
  
Bill: *grins* Okay! I like you again!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Fred? George? Why did you give Dudley that taffy?  
  
Fred: Nothing happened.  
  
Mr. Weasel: But he was on a diet! You made him break it!  
  
George: He wasn't on a diet!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Yes he was! Wasn't he Harry?  
  
Harry: Um.....oh yeah! That's why I asked all of my friends to send me candy!  
  
All:......  
  
*Herm-own-ninny and Ginny come down*  
  
Ginny: *in a sing-song voice* Somebody's in trouble.....  
  
Fred and George: Uh oh.  
  
Mrs. Weasel: There you two are! I found more of those forms from 'Weasel's Wizard Wheezes' in your room!  
  
Herm-own-ninny: Come on, all. Let's go. *drags Harry, Ronald, and Ginny upstairs*  
  
Ginny: Well Harry? Aren't you going to ask what Weasel's Wizard Wheezes are?  
  
Harry: I'm still trying to decide if I care. *thinks* Okay!  
  
Ginny: Fred and George want to start a joke shop and they made some stuff to sell at school for money. Mum found the lists of things they'd invented and got really mad.  
  
Percy: *pops head out of his room* Could you all shut up?!? I mean, I'm trying to listen to my rap music, okay?!?  
  
Ronald: Don't you have some report to do for work?  
  
Percy: Go away!  
  
*All run away*  
  
*All go down to dinner*  
  
*Bill and Charlie are making the dinner tables fight in midair*  
  
*Bill is winning because Charlie's arm hurts*  
  
Bill: Ha! I'm better than you!  
  
Charlie: My arm hurts! And I think it was a poisonous dragon too! *Leaves*  
  
Bill: Ha! I'm STILL better than you!  
  
*All sit down at table (yes, even Charlie)*  
  
Charlie: My arm..............my arm....  
  
Percy: Yo, Dad! Like, I hate working! I mean, like, after the World Cup, we still have another event to organize! You know, the Try Wiz......  
  
Mr. Weasel: Hush, now! Don't give it away Percy!  
  
Percy: Percy is such a dumb name! I want to be named something cool! I'll think of it later!  
  
Ronald: What is the special event after the World Cup?  
  
Percy: It's like, at Hogwarts. It's called the Try Wiz....  
  
Mr. Weasel: Shush!  
  
Herm-own-ninny: This food is good. I can't wait for the World Cup! My life revolves around Quidditch!  
  
Ronald: It's only a game. Besides, I thought your life involved being the top student, semi-bossy, and sleep deprived.  
  
Herm-own-ninny: Oh yeah! That too!  
  
Ronald: Hey, Harry! Have you heard from Sir.....I mean, that guy in Brazil? Your "penpal?"  
  
Harry: I have two penpals in Brazil, Ronald. You just haven't met one of them.  
  
Ronald: I feel left out!  
  
Mrs. Weasel: Oh, by the way, you have to wake up really early tomorrow to get to the World Cup in time. No staying up late and throwing wild parties again, okay?  
  
Ronald: Ah man!  
  
Ginny: Hi everyone!  
  
All: Uh, hi?  
  
Ginny: *sigh*  
  
Harry: Ginny, what is wrong?  
  
Ginny: Oh, I was just reflecting on my life as an under-used character with great potential. *sigh*  
  
Herm-own-ninny: Don't worry about it Ginny. Not everyone is special enough to be in our little trio. I mean, it is a "trio" so there can only be three of us anyway!  
  
Ginny: Maybe one of you could die......  
  
Herm-own-ninny: We've tried that before. Remember? You set the basilisk on me so you could take my place, but I lived.  
  
Ginny: I'm not sure I remember that.....though I do vaguely recall something about a basilisk......  
  
Mr. Weasel: What a wonderful dinner! However, it is time to go to sleep! Get to bed all of you!  
  
*All the children are nestled, all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.....(A/N: Oops! Wrong story!) I mean, while dreaming of the World Cup*  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Harry: *is awakened*  
  
Mr. Weasel: Wake up, Harry......your parents are here to see you....  
  
Harry: *sits right up* Really?!?  
  
Mr. Weasel: No. I just felt like saying that. And it did wake you up.  
  
Ronald: Come on, Harry. We have to go now.  
  
Harry: Okay.  
  
*Meet Herm-own-ninny and Ginny downstairs*  
  
Ronald: Where are Bill and Charlie and Percy?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Bill is getting a new dragon fang for his earring, Charlie is in the emergency room because of his arm, and Percy is at the police station for questioning on his involvement in some graffiti on the rich dude's house.  
  
Ronald: Oh. Is that all?  
  
*Fred and George come downstairs*  
  
Fred: I couldn't help but overhear, how are those three going to get here?  
  
Mr. Weasel: They are going to Apparate.  
  
George: Will Percy be out of the police by then?  
  
Mr. Weasel: I'm not sure.........  
  
*Walk out the door*  
  
Harry: Where are we going?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Stoatshead Hill.  
  
Ginny: How do they play Quidditch there?  
  
Mr. Weasel: They don't. We magically transport there using a Portkey!  
  
Herm-own-ninny: What does a Portkey look like?  
  
Ronald: Is it like a monkey?!?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Actually.....no nothing like a monkey.  
  
Ronald: Oh. *sulks*  
  
Voice from somewhere: Over here, Arthur! We found it!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Amos Diggory? Hi!  
  
Mr. Diggory: Hey everyone!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Mr. Diggory works at the Ministry. I suppose you all know his son Cedric.  
  
Fred: The name sounds kind of familiar........  
  
Harry: It does? *thinks* Well, doesn't ring a bell in my brain. *holds out hand* Nice to meet you Cedric!  
  
Cedric: Harry, I beat you at the Quidditch match in third year and you all dislike me for being perfect, remember? Not to mention this year I'm going to start dating your crush.  
  
Harry: You are?  
  
Cedric: Yep.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Are all of these yours, Arthur.  
  
Mr. Weasel: *smiles proudly* Yes.  
  
All: What?!?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Oops! Sorry! Another identity crisis. I have many of those.  
  
Herm-own-ninny (who shall from now on be known as Herm): We have all observed such.  
  
Mr. Weasel: Mine are the ones with red hair. I don't care about the other two. *Herm and Harry sulk*  
  
Mr. Weasel: Oh fine! These are Ronald's friends Herm-own-ninny Granger and Harry Potter.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Harry Potter? How amazing!  
  
Cedric: And I beat him at Quidditch.  
  
Mr. Diggory: Now don't brag, Cedric.  
  
Mr. Weasel: Anyway, where's the Portkey?  
  
Mr. Diggory: This old smelly boot.  
  
Cedric: I found it!  
  
Mr. Diggory: Don't brag son!  
  
Mr. Weasel: It's time! Everybody touch it!  
  
All: Ewww!  
  
*They all touch it and are transported*  
  
Voice: Seven past five from Stoatshead Hill.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hey! I finally finished that chapter! The reason it takes so long is (apart from the fact I am busy), for some chapters, I just have no ideas! Can anybody give me a few suggestions? I might need to use it. Hope you liked it!  
  
Happy Holiday Season!  
  
~Saranha de Angelo 


	3. Chapter....uh......that number after 6.....

Hi again! I got nice reviews for my story really fast, so I am starting this chapter. It might take me awhile to get this up. I just wanted to thank the people who have reviewed so far: Luinthoron, Cynthia, CrystalStarGuardian, JBP, Raven of the Shadows, Lily Smith and Pheobe, Hikaness a.k.a Hikari4Takeru, starrynight, becky and hpjr, and SilverSerpent. I wouldn't be posting this if you hadn't reviewed, and you said you wanted more. I guess my story isn't a flop. Thanks for letting me know!  
  
I just want to apologize for all of the references to songs in the musical, "Oliver!" My school is going to put it on this year, and I have a cool part in it, and I like the songs. So, I've been sneaking in "Be Back Soon" and now in this chapter, "Pick a Pocket Or Two." To anyone who doesn't understand, sorry.  
  
Chapter uh.....um......that number after 6.......  
  
*All land in front of a dude named Basil*  
  
Basil: Hi all!  
  
Mr. Weasel: You're Basil of Baker Street? How cool!  
  
Basil: Okay.......  
  
George: Please don't be hard on dad. He has a few issues......  
  
Basil: Oh. You're on the first field, the manager is Mr. Roberts. Have a nice day.  
  
Mr. Weasel: You too, Mr. Basil!  
  
Basil: *muttering as they walk away* I need a new job.....  
  
*Weasleys, Herm, and Harry walk to campsite*  
  
*See Mr. Roberts*  
  
Mr. Roberts: Hey! What's your name?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Weasel. I booked a few days ago.  
  
Mr. Roberts: Okay. Over there. *points* But first, we must discuss the subject of payment. You owe me 30.....(because of cultural money differences, I selected a random number and refuse to mention currency. ~Saranha)  
  
Mr. Weasel: Okay. *hands him one whatever-currency-he-should-have-thirty- of*  
  
Mr. Roberts: Um........I need 30.  
  
Mr. Weasel: I can't count! *sobs*  
  
Herm: Ugh! Here you go! *counts out 30 whatevers and gives them to Mr. Roberts*  
  
Mr. Roberts: Have a nice day!  
  
*All walk to campsite*  
  
Mr. Weasel: *stops crying* Okay! Let's set up the tents! How do we do this?  
  
Ronald: I believe you just read the instructions.  
  
Mr. Weasel: *tears welling up* I can't read either...........  
  
Herm: Come one, Harry. Let's show them how it's done!  
  
Harry: Okay.  
  
Herm: *begins to sing* In this life, one thing counts, in the bank, large amounts. I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, you've got to pick a pocket or two, you've got to.....  
  
Harry: Oh no! You are obsessed with that musical too!  
  
Herm: *no longer singing* What do you mean, 'too?'  
  
Harry: The Dursleys.  
  
Herm: Oh. I'll settle for humming.  
  
*Humming is heard as Herm and Harry put up tents*  
  
Herm: I think that's it.  
  
*All peek inside one of the tents*  
  
*They see what looks like the inside of a mansion*  
  
Fred: Wow! These are cool!  
  
George: I love these tents!  
  
Mr. Weasel: I'm going to light a fire. Ronald, Harry, Herm, go get us some water.  
  
Ronald: Okay.  
  
Herm: Are you sure that you can light the fire?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Magic!  
  
Herm: No, Mr. Weasel. You can't use magic!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Oh. Okay.......I can figure it out! Go get us water!  
  
*The trio goes to get water*  
  
Ronald: Ah! My eyes!  
  
Herm: *wearing sunglasses* What?  
  
Ronald: Everything's green!  
  
Herm: Really? I can't tell wearing pink tinted sunglasses. *takes them off* Oh. I see. I wonder why.......  
  
Voice from somewhere: Hey!  
  
Harry: It wasn't me! I didn't take it! It was....*looks around* Ronald!  
  
Ronald: Hey! That wasn't nice!  
  
Harry: Don't arrest me!!!  
  
Voice: It's just me.  
  
Herm: Oh. Hi Seamus.  
  
Ronald: What are you doing here?  
  
Seamus: Well, duh! I'm here for the World Cup! I'm with my mom and Dean.  
  
Mrs. Finnigan (Seamus's mom): Why can't we decorate our tents with large amount of greenery? The Bulgarians have lots of stuff on their tents!  
  
Dean: You guys are supporting Ireland, right? *eyes glowing dangerously*  
  
Herm, Harry, Ronald: Yeah! Definitely! Go Ireland! Etc.  
  
*Trio leaves*  
  
Harry: Like we'd tell them anything else.  
  
Ronald: What was that you were talking about taking something?  
  
Harry: Uh......forget it.  
  
*Police car zooms by*  
  
Harry: Ah!  
  
*Police car comes to them*  
  
Officer: Hello, Mr. Potter. Right?  
  
Harry: Uh......yeah?  
  
Officer: I need to have a word with you.  
  
Harry: About what?  
  
Officer: Is it true that your car was stolen?  
  
Harry: *no longer fearful, looking quite relieved* Yes, it was! My brand new hot pink Ferrari!  
  
*Hot pink Ferrari goes by*  
  
Harry: Look! There it is!  
  
*Officer looks*  
  
*Trio runs away*  
  
Harry: That was too close.  
  
Herm: Harry? What did you do?  
  
Harry: Nothing!  
  
Ronald: Why didn't you tell me you had a hot pink Ferrari?  
  
Harry: All of these questions will be answered on next week's show!  
  
Herm: What do the Bulgarians have on their tents?  
  
Harry: Except that one! That one we will answer now! Let us be off!  
  
*Go to a Bulgarian tent*  
  
Herm: *now wearing such dark sunglasses she can't see a thing* I don't see anything.  
  
Ronald: It's Viktor Krum! *high, annoying valley girl voice* Like, it's his picture! Like, oh my God! I think I'm going to, like, faint!  
  
Harry: Hey, Herm! You're right! The world does look better through these pink glasses!  
  
Ronald: *Normal voice* Take those glasses off and look at this you two!  
  
Herm: *taking off glasses* Ah! The light! Oh. He looks grumpy. *takes pink sunglasses off Harry and tries to put them on poster*  
  
Ronald: I don't think that will work......  
  
Herm: Argh! *puts pink sunglasses on herself*  
  
Harry: Hey! There's the water!  
  
*Get in line and get water*  
  
*Walk back towards the tent*  
  
Oliver Wood: Hi you guys!  
  
Herm: *singing quietly* Oliver! Oliver! Never before has a boy wanted more........  
  
Harry: No more Oliver! *he is referring to the musical because he is annoyed with the songs*  
  
Oliver Wood: *looks hurt* Okay. Bye.  
  
Harry: I didn't mean you! Sorry!  
  
Oliver: That's okay! *walks away*  
  
Cho Chang: *waves and smiles*  
  
Harry: *ignores her*  
  
Ronald: Um......Harry? The cute girl you have a crush on just waved to you.  
  
Harry: Who? Cho? *waves calmly back* What about her?  
  
Ronald: *groan*  
  
*Get back to tent*  
  
George: There you are! Dad's having fun with matches! Please stop him!  
  
Herm: Let me do that. *lights fire*  
  
*Bill, Charlie, and Percy appear*  
  
Charlie: Hi!  
  
Harry: How's your arm?  
  
Charlie: Uh.....change subject please.  
  
*Ludo Bagman appears*  
  
Mr. Weasel: This is the guy that got the tickets for us!  
  
All: Hi! *they immediately like Ludo*  
  
Ludo: Hey! Wanna gamble? It's a great way to ruin your life!  
  
Mr. Weasel: I bet *looks around* my son Ronald that Ireland wins!  
  
Ronald: Dad? NO!  
  
Mr. Weasel: Um.......how about *grabs Herm's rosy pink glasses* these!  
  
Herm and Harry: NO!!!!!!!! NOT THE GLASSES!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ronald: But you had no objection to gambling me?  
  
Fred and George: We bet our whole saving on it. 37 gold things, 15 silver things, and 3 bronze things. Oh, and a fake wand. We bet that Ireland wins but Viktor Krum gets the snitch.  
  
Ludo: Deal. I'll also do your bet, Mr. Weasel.  
  
Herm and Harry: *sob*  
  
Mr. Weasel: Heard anything about that Bertha Jorkins person?  
  
Ludo: Who? Oh, her! No.  
  
Mr. Couch: *appears* The Bulgarians want more seats. *groans*  
  
Ludo: Come on, Barty! We're having a great time! And we also get to have more fun afterwards!  
  
Ronald: With what?  
  
Percy: This stupid thing called the Try Wiz......  
  
Mr. Couch: Weatherby! Don't tell them. You're the worst assistant I've ever had!  
  
Percy: Listen, man! It's Percy Weasel! Get it right, but don't get used to it! I'm going to change my name soon.  
  
Ludo: Oh well! Let's go see about those seats now! See the rest of you later in the Top Box!  
  
*Couch and Ludo disappear*  
  
Herm: YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GAMBLE MY PINK SUNGLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fred: What's happening at Hogwarts?  
  
Mr. Weasel: Can't tell you.  
  
Bill: That's code for "I don't know."  
  
George: I think it's time to go.  
  
Mr. Weasel: You're right! Let's be off!  
  
*All head towards stadium*  
  
Ronald: Ooh! I want to buy this figurine of Viktor Krum!  
  
Herm: Actually, Ronald, that is pointless for on Christmas you will break that figurine.  
  
Harry: Why would he do that?  
  
Herm: I'm not sure. I think you hate Viktor Krum or something.  
  
Ronald: *happily buying figure* You think I hate Viktor Krum? How wrong you are.  
  
Harry: Herm, I think you are wrong.  
  
Herm: No, I saw it in my special sessions with Professor Trelawny.  
  
All:.......  
  
Harry: Look at these Omnioculars! I want one! *buys one*  
  
Herm: You know Harry, you owe me for letting you borrow those sunglasses.........  
  
Harry: Okay, fine. *buys pair for Herm*  
  
Ronald: You owe me for putting up with you for three years.  
  
Harry: Fair enough.......*buys Ronald pair*  
  
Herm: I did that too! I deserve another pair!  
  
Ronald: What would you do with a second pair?  
  
Herm: You know......I'm not sure..........  
  
Harry: Hey! Is that Voldie and Wormtail over there?!?  
  
*Voldie and Wormtail walk quickly past in cloaks*  
  
*Wormtail drops keychain*  
  
Harry: Hey! This is my car key!  
  
Herm: How do you know?  
  
Harry: It has this little tag that says, "I'm the key to Harry's hot pink Ferrari! I rock!"  
  
Ronald: You put the strangest things in writing.........  
  
Mr. Weasel: Do we have to go?  
  
All: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
End (temporarily)  
  
Hey all! It's me, the wonderful author! Okay, fine. You don't love me. *pouts* Anyway, I got news for you. You probably know the pain of having nothing on the Harry Potter section stay on the first page for long, so for the reason that it will keep me on the first pages and will help me dish out new chapters and look impressive, I am now doing one chapter for each re-make chapter. No more "Chapter 4, 5, 6" now it will be "Chapter 7." Hope no one is morally offended by the change.  
  
Please give me some material! I have no ideas for the next couple of chapters!  
  
~Saranha 


	4. Ch. 9 remade! Wait, no. We're still on...

Hey all! I'm too lazy to type the names of everyone who reviewed, and now I worship people in large groups. Hope no one is morally offended by such. If you review, tell me what you like, what you didn't like, give me suggestions, anything except really mean things that involve swearing and massive insults.  
  
Here is the next remade - chapter. Please note, I still like the Oliver musical and now I am also listening to Moulin Rouge music. I wonder if anything will happen involving this deranged combination.  
  
Hope you like! Sorry it's kinda short.......  
  
Chapter 9 remade! Wait, no. Still on Chapter 8. Sorry for the false alarm.  
  
All: *walk towards arena, singing* Who will buy my wonderful programs? Such a line-up you never did see! Who will take this up to their seat now, so they won't wonder what's going on during the whole show!  
  
Harry: Hey! That might not be the exact "Who Will Buy" song, but it still irritates me! Shut up!  
  
All: *whimper and cry*  
  
Mr. Weasel: Calm down Harry. Look at the arena. It seats 100,000. Ministry's been working on it for a long time. I headed the project.  
  
Random Ministry Wizard: No, Arthur. I did that. You stopped the evil teapot.  
  
Mr. Weasel: Oh yeah! *shows tickets to Ministry witch*  
  
Witch: Hey, Arthur! What's up? Your seats? All the way up there! *points to an extremely high tower with lightening flashing around it*  
  
Mr. Weasel: Uh......okay.......  
  
Witch: Oops! No, never mind. You have those seats in the Top Box. Sorry.  
  
Mr. Weasel: You need a new job.  
  
Witch: Yeah. *muttering as he walks away.....* Basil's right. He is weird.  
  
*All go up to Top Box and sit*  
  
*Harry sees House Elf*  
  
Harry: Dobby?!?  
  
Winky: No, sir. I'm Winky, sir.  
  
Harry: Oh. Never mind then.  
  
Winky: But I know Dobby too, sir!  
  
Harry: Shut up!  
  
Ronald: You tell her Harry!  
  
Herm: You're being rude. Both of you just shut up!  
  
*Silence amounts*  
  
Herm: This is boring.  
  
*Whole stadium is silent*  
  
Herm: That's it! Surround Sound! (that's the spell to make your voice really loud) Make noise, people!  
  
*All begin to chatter*  
  
Herm: Much better.  
  
Mr. Weasel: Here are the Bulgarian mascots! Veela!  
  
Harry: What's a Veela?  
  
*All males stare at Veela except Ronald, Fred, and George*  
  
Ronald: These dark sunglasses are really cool, Herm! I can't see a thing!  
  
*Fred and George are quietly whispering*  
  
Herm: Boo! Get those idiots off the stage!  
  
*Veela go away*  
  
All males: Ahhhh!  
  
Herm: *sigh* Men!  
  
*Leprechauns come out, dropping gold*  
  
Harry: Mine! Mine! It's all mine! Give it to me!  
  
Ronald: No way! It's mine! Your rich idiot! You don't need it!  
  
*Harry and Ronald fight over gold*  
  
Herm: Honestly! Accio gold! *summoning charm brings gold coins to her*  
  
Herm: *cackles evilly*  
  
Harry: Who taught us that?  
  
Herm: I've been reading ahead in our books. It's going to be covered in Charms. My special sessions with Professor Trelawny show me it will be useful.  
  
All:...  
  
*Game begins*  
  
Ludo: And the Irish Chasers are using some of that amazing skill! Bulgaria will have to fight hard to win this! The Seeker's have gone into a head to head dive!  
  
Herm: They're going to crash!  
  
Ronald: No they're not!  
  
Harry: Lynch is!  
  
*Lynch and Krum crash*  
  
Harry: *blinking like thunderstruck deer* Okay, I guess Herm was right. Weird.  
  
*Five minutes later.....*  
  
*Seekers are diving again*  
  
Herm: They're going to crash!  
  
Ronald: No they're not!  
  
Harry: One of them is!  
  
*Both crash. Hermione smiles smugly*  
  
*Half and hour later, Herm, Harry, and Ronald have been saying the same thing, guessing what will happen. Herm is always right*  
  
Harry: I give up! Herm? Where did you learn to do that?  
  
Herm: Oh, easy. I can make the players do whatever I want!  
  
*Fred and George are eavesdropping*  
  
Herm: You see, I put the Imperius Curse on all of the players!  
  
Ronald: Have we learned that yet?  
  
Herm: Nope.  
  
Harry: Shh! Herm! We aren't supposed to know about that yet!  
  
Fred: Herm? Can we talk to you?  
  
*Fred, George, and Herm wander over to elsewhere*  
  
George: Listen, Herm. You heard that bet we made with Ludo Bagman, right?  
  
Herm: *nods*  
  
Fred: Anyway, we were just wondering........could you control the players to make Ireland win but Viktor Krum get the snitch? Please?  
  
Herm: What will you do in return?  
  
George: Think of it this way Herm, Dad's been lecturing me and George about gambling, right?  
  
Herm: Yeah.......  
  
Fred: And what did he do?  
  
Herm: *tears in eyes* He gambled my pink sunglasses!  
  
George: He wants us to learn that gambling is bad. But if we're right, then he won't have anymore ammo.  
  
Herm: Then I'll get my glasses back, right?  
  
Fred: We guarantee it!  
  
Herm: Deal!  
  
*They return to their seats*  
  
Herm: So....if one of the Seekers were to catch the snitch right now......who would win?  
  
Ronald: Ireland. Bulgaria is too far behind. Even if they got the snitch, they wouldn't win.  
  
Harry: Look! There's the snitch!  
  
Herm: *cackles, winks to Fred and George, and mutters* Imperio!  
  
*Viktor Krum is all of the sudden racing Lynch for the snitch*  
  
Viktor: Huh? I can't get the snitch now! We'll lose! What's going on?  
  
*Lynch falls asleep (Herm is grinning while this happens *hint hint*)*  
  
*Viktor's hand is reaching out to grab the snitch, against his will*  
  
Viktor: *slapping his hand* No! Don't grab it!  
  
*But grab it he does*  
  
*He quickly lets it go; now that he has fulfilled the command, Herm loses control*  
  
Viktor: See! I didn't catch it!  
  
Ludo: Sorry! We saw you with it! Too bad! Ireland wins! But Viktor Krum gets the snitch! Who was expecting that? Probably the strangest event ever involving Quidditch!  
  
Fred and George: Thanks Herm.  
  
Herm: Help me get my sunglasses back from your dad.  
  
Harry: *blinking like thunderstruck deer* That was odd and unexpected.  
  
Ronald: *blinking like thunderstruck deer (now called BLTD)* Yeah. Definitely.  
  
  
  
Hey all! My little ending author's note (get used to them, they ain't leaving). I just wanted to say thanks to my friend QVIPS (aka splash) who helped me come up with the idea of making Fred and George bribe Hermione. It was a build on to my theory of the Imperius curse which I had told her about. I don't really dedicate chapters to people, but to QVIPS, I will be dedicating a chapter to you soon. (I think the Yule Ball thing).  
  
I haven't gotten any reviews for chapter 3 yet. *sniffles* Is it that bad? I kind of liked it (well, duh! I wrote it!). Anyway, I'm holding out hope that it was a technical error and you'll all review this chapter. Otherwise, I will post it hoping someone someday will review it.  
  
Cancel the last paragraph! I did get one review for chapter 3 (at least, this morning it was one). However, it was such a nice review that I couldn't resist putting this up!  
  
And it's completely Moulin Rouge free! I didn't get everything mixed up!  
  
Hope the new format's working out okay.  
  
Happy New Year!  
  
~Saranha 


	5. The Chapter that isn't even a chapter......

Hey all!!! I'm back!!! Sorry it took so long to get this up………..this chapter is so hard that I didn't do a good job at all! Trust me, it will suck. You might not even want to read it, but whatever. Anyway, thanks to all of you loyal reviewer folks. Sorry this isn't very good………and that you had to wait so long for it…….but uh……yeah……here it is.  
  
Chapter Nine (well, it's not really chapter nine…)  
  
Once upon a time, there was a pretty princess named Kelly. She liked to wear pink dresses and ride her way-too-fat pony, Lavender.  
  
Now, one day, Kelly was very bored. She decided that she couldn't remember why she named Lavender that. So, she decided to remedy the problem by dying Lavender purple (lavender to be more exact).  
  
Now, Lavender wasn't happy about this. Lavender ran away. Kelly cried for approximately .0000572 seconds. Then, she decided that the horse was to be beheaded for treason. Therefore, she sent all of her guards after the horse.  
  
The guards were all named after colors too. So, Kelly dyed them according to their names. Poor guards……….  
  
The guards went after Lavender for Kelly, but then they saw the light and ran away to the beautiful kingdom of Chicago.  
  
Now, all of the people of the kingdom were named after colors. In fact, everybody except Kelly was named after colors. So, Kelly dyed all of the colors too. While Kelly was sleeping, all of the country's people went and complained to the king.  
  
The next day, the king called Kelly to his throne room and said, "Kelly, your real name is Pink."  
  
Kelly paled as some random guy who was colored yellow with orange polka dots poured pink dye over her head.  
  
And that is why eggplants are considered food.  
  
The End  
  
Oh yeah! BTW, the Muggle owners of the campsite were thrown into the air, Harry lost his wand, Harry, Ronald, and Herm heard a deep voice that said the incantation for the Dark Mark, and then decided to blame Winky the House Elf for setting it. Mr. Couch decided to fire Winky. Just a little update…….not very important.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Yes, that was an odd chapter, and it only took about 10 minutes to write. Aren't I so cruel? Anyway, sorry. But that chapter is so hard!!!! You try to write it!!! (I'll post yours if you send it and it doesn't destroy my future plans).  
  
BTW, so far I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing for the Yule Ball and the Second Task. But please…if you want the chapters out fast…SEND ME IDEAS!!! That's why this one took so long and stunk. But, there will be better chapters to come.  
  
Forever the author of the insane fic you are for some reason reading,  
  
Saranha de Angelo 


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